Satire

Jay Cutler Suffers Severe Right Eyebrow Sprain, Glowering at Offensive Lineman

Jay Cutler Suffers Severe Right Eyebrow Sprain, Glowering at Offensive Lineman

2013/08/14 at 10:00 pm 0 comments

NFL Humor/Satire—Early yesterday morning a team spokesperson for the Chicago Bears confirmed reports that starting quarterback Jay Cutler suffered a severe right eyebrow sprain after glowering at an unnamed offensive lineman during a mid-week practice. A lineman, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, witnessed the gruesome injury. “Oh, yeah.  I saw the whole […]

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College Football Star Makes Shocking Remarks

College Football Star Makes Shocking Remarks

2013/07/28 at 6:33 pm 0 comments

College Football Humor/Satire—The University of South Carolina and their star defensive end, Jadeveon Clowney, have come out with a strong denial of any wrongdoing on the part of their All-Everything player, amidst recent allegations that Clowney was improperly contacted by rapper-turned-agent Jay-Z. “I’ve got that Emmert control on the sanctions […]

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College Football Coach Makes Shocking Remarks (Satire)

College Football Coach Makes Shocking Remarks (Satire)

2013/07/20 at 6:20 pm 0 comments

College Football Humor/Satire—New Arkansas Razorbacks football coach Bret Bielema has a problem.  And he’s not shy about sharing what it is. Bielema doesn’t like no-huddle, uptempo offenses.  He’s gone on record about it.  He’s attempted to put a 15-second substitution rule in place that will make offenses wait for that amount […]

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Cowboys Owner Enforces Shocking Changes (Satire)

Cowboys Owner Enforces Shocking Changes (Satire)

2013/07/15 at 10:08 pm 4 comments

NFL Humor/Satire—According to sources in the Dallas Cowboys‘ organization, Jerry Jones will be making a few more changes around the Cowboys organization this week. Jones will reportedly be making sure that Jason Garrett is in bed, with his teeth brushed, and his face washed by 8 P.M. sharp.  One source, […]

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Eagles Coach’s Shocking New Playcall Signs Revealed

Eagles Coach’s Shocking New Playcall Signs Revealed

2013/07/11 at 2:22 pm 1 comment

NFL Humor/Satire—Much has been made about Chip Kelly taking over as the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles. Known for his rapid-fire, no-huddle offense at Oregon, Kelly’s teams were often moving so quickly that they would use over-sized signs to signal in the next play call from the sidelines.  While […]

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Daniel Snyder Holds Press Conference to Announce How Un-Racist He is, Ends Up Sounding More Racist

Daniel Snyder Holds Press Conference to Announce How Un-Racist He is, Ends Up Sounding More Racist

2013/06/14 at 4:44 pm 1 comment

NFL HUMOR/SATIRE—On Friday morning, Daniel Snyder—the embattled owner of the Washington Redskins—attempted to quell any more rumors that his franchise was going to be forced to change its controversial name in the near future. “How!?”  Snyder asked, stepping up to the podium and raising his right hand.  “Please, everyone, be […]

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Photo Via LarryBrownSports.com

Doctors’ Attempt To Surgically Implant Dignity Into Rob Gronkowski Fails

2013/06/03 at 8:00 am 7 comments

Doctors from Johns Hopkins University are reporting that their recent attempt to surgically implant New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski with dignity has failed. After the hard-partying player, known as “Gronk” to many of his fans, went under the knife for the fourth time this offseason for a physical […]

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New Oregon HC, Surprised at Need to Ford Rivers and Combat Typhoid

New Oregon HC, Surprised at Need to Ford Rivers and Combat Typhoid

2013/05/28 at 5:30 pm 6 comments

New Oregon Ducks football head coach Mark Helfrich thought he was getting a pretty sweet deal when he took over with a beyond-potent rushing attack, much-improved defense and a playmaking quarterback that was just a sophomore. “There are some things,” Coach Helfrich said with a sigh, putting his head into […]

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Orange County Law Enforcement Hold Press Conference to Announce Titus Young Hasn’t Been Arrested in Over 168 Hours

Orange County Law Enforcement Hold Press Conference to Announce Titus Young Hasn’t Been Arrested in Over 168 Hours

2013/05/21 at 4:41 pm 1 comment

After former NFL wide receiver Titus Young was arrested for the third time in two days, on May 12th 2013, local law enforcement in Orange County were put on high alert.  Following a brief period of time in which he wasn’t arrested, they held a news conference to try to quell […]

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Chip Kelly Stunned by Media Scrutiny Behind Hot Dog Eating Contest

Chip Kelly Stunned by Media Scrutiny Behind Hot Dog Eating Contest

2013/05/17 at 9:00 am 2 comments

Chip Kelly has gained notoriety in recent days by doing away with the Philadelphia Eagles‘ now infamous “Taco Tuesdays” and “Fast Food Fridays” that were staples under Andy Reid‘s tenure. However, Kelly was unprepared for the media firestorm that he would face after announcing that they would be having a […]

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